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October 2003 The Year of Switching Commanders Farewell to Friends Dispatches from the Front by Burl Burlingame |
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10/5/03 Reinventing the wheel Actually, there's nothing wrong with getting reporters and editors to think harder about the philosophies of their jobs instead of the nuts and bolts. Gannett Corporate creates an initiative every few years to bang the basics back into their employees' heads. This time around it's called Real Life Real News. But it will likely wind up being another News 200 fiasco, a way of justifying all those mid-level editors by having them fill out progress forms and shoehorn local stories into Mainland-derived must-do lists. Under News 2000, we were regularly chastized by Gannett for featuring too many Asians in Hawaii newspapers and not enough blacks -- the percentages were supposed to match Mainland demographics. And they'd give us "news tips" as if they were newly discovered, like "Use quotes!" or "Always give the person's age!" or "Headlines should reflect the story!" It was a huge waste of time. |
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10/9/03 Newsroom pandemonium Dave Donnelly today has an amusing item about Arnold Schwarzenegger visiting the old Star-Bulletin newsroom. (Jeez, give Muscle-Boy a break, he was only elected yesterday. Give him until next week to fail miserably as The Governator.) One of the fun things about newsrooms is you'll never know who'll show up. In the mid-'80s I was just sitting at my computer, beavering away, when out of the corner of my eye I spotted a rather tall black man in a nice suit from behind. What got my attention was the suit -- who the heck wears a suit to a Hawaii newsroom? Then one of the sports guys introduced him to the copy desk as Muhammed Ali. Without thinking, I grunted "Oh suuuuuure he is" and the guy whipped around and the next thing I knew there was this enormous fist shaking right in my face. Seriously, this fist was as big as my entire head. "Do you DOUBT?" said that famous voice and I looked, and by gosh, it WAS Ali. "Do NOT be filled with DOUBT!" he added, tapping me on the end of my nose with that ham-sized fist. I stammered," "Watch it, pal. I'm the Great White Hope!" Ali's face changed to comical shock and he went "Ooooh!" and danced away. Behind me, writer John Christenson was on the phone with his back to us, completely oblivious, and Ali put him in a headlock. "What the hell!" Christenson shouted, grappling at his neck and dropping the phone. "Get the fuck off me! You asshole!" Ali laughed and released him and Christenson spun around and ... began hopping up and down like a kid on Christmas. "It's Ali! It's Ali!" he sang. "It's Ali! It's Ali!" The next 20 minutes or so were complete pandemonium as Ali barged through the building creating utter chaos. He was funny and charming and cool and in his wake all the ladies were swooning. It was the most amazing display of pure, blinding charisma I've ever seen. Eventually Christenson remembered he was interviewing somebody and grabbed his dangling phone. The person was still there. "Muhammed Ali was choking me!" I heard him say. "Really! No kidding. Sorry I left you hanging. No, I'm not sorry. It was Muhammed Ali, man!" Yeah, journalists always keep their cool. |
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10/20/03 Elementary Public Finances #101 No baseball today, so I'll have to muddle through somehow. The Yankees and the Marlins have both been playing superb ball, but the Series just doen't havbe that legendary feeling that having the Cubs or Red Sox involved. I can say that as a fair-weather Cubbies fan, once the Cards do their tradfitional mid-season fade. One thing to root for, however, is the apparent demise of the extraordinarily stupid plan to build a "West Oahu" campus of the University of Hawaii. It was the local version of EuroDisney. The scheme was being bruited about even when I was a student at Leeward Community College three decades ago, and even then we couldn't understand why they'd build a whole new campus when LCC itself could serve, while continuing as a community college. Spending tax dollars on more capitol "improvements" when we can't maintain the structures we do have is putting money in the wrong pockets. Somebody figured that out. |
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10/21/03 Work work work! When the newspaper changed hands and a new union contract went into place, our job descriptions loosened up slightly and I was able to start shooting photos again, which, unlike most of the rest of the writers, pleased me because my background and college degree are in photojournalism. Inspired by Bill Owens' brilliant "Suburbia" book from the early '70s, I decided to create a weekly feature photograph showing ordinary people doing ordinary things, and talking about how they feel about it in their own words. I settled on the concept of "Hawaii At Work," because everybody has something to say about their jobs, and there are a million different kind of jobs out there and I liked the idea of a little social anthropology and study of the American work ethic, which is one of the highest in the world. The feature is a success and has run weekly ever since in our Monday Business section. I did it alone for several months but then had to move on to other projects and, ironically, also because some of our photographers whined about a "just a writer" poaching on their territory. Well, it's the sincerest form of flattery, isn't it, that Honolulu Magazine completely lifted our Hawaii At Work concept and recycled it as their cover feature this month? They didn't even bother to refocus the idea. The double irony is that Honolulu editor John Heckathorn had a steady gig writing a guest column for the Star-Bulletin and quit just as the "Working" issue of Honolulu came out, claiming he was worth far more than the paper could afford to pay. Well, if you want good ideas on how to cover Honolulu, a Star-Bulletin subscription is pretty cheap. |
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10/24/03 Uh, wrong famous battleship, guys CNN rather breathlessly reported yesterday that President Bush stood on "hallowed ground" aboard the USS Missouri, "where so many U.S. sailors are entombed from the Pearl Harbor attack." |
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10/31/03 And now, the junk-mail empire as well Gannett's record quarterly profits went to good use this week -- they acquired Clipper Magazine, Inc. "one of the nation's largest independent direct-mail advertising magazine companies." In other words, they generate a lot of junk mail. "We are truly excited and expect great results as Clipper continues to grow throughout the country. Clipper will be a strong and welcome addition to Gannett," qouth Doug McCorkindale, Gannett chair and CEO. In other words, again, ve vill absorb you, und you vill like it! |
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Rolling Elevens |
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